While there isn’t a specific brand, book, or media property officially titled “Comments to Cats,” the phrase perfectly captures two massive internet phenomena: the hilarious things humans confess to saying to their cats, and the ways we can “leave a comment” (communicate) in a language cats actually understand. The “Crazy” Things Humans Say to Cats
Online communities on platforms like Reddit’s r/cats and Facebook are filled with viral threads where owners share the ridiculous things they say out loud to their pets. These comments generally fall into a few funny categories:
The Micro-Management: “Get your feet out of my water cup,” “Closing the bathroom door is not a hate crime,” or “Stop screaming, your bowl is half full”.
The Dramatic Praise: “Look at you just sitting there! You are the most beautiful creature to ever exist!”
The Existential Interrogations: “Why are you like this?” or “What is actually in your mouth right now?” How to Leave a “Comment” Your Cat Can Understand
If you want to talk to your cat in a way that resonates with feline biology rather than human English, behavioral experts recommend using their physical dialect:
The “Slow Blink” (The Ultimate Five-Star Review): Staring at a cat can feel like a threat to them. Instead, look at them with relaxed eyes and slowly lower your eyelids. In cat language, this is the equivalent of saying “I love you” and “I trust you”.
The “Pspspsps” or High-Pitch Chirp: Cats respond incredibly well to high-frequency sounds. Using a higher-pitched “baby voice” mimics the welcoming chirps mother cats use with kittens, signaling safety and affection.
The Scent Swap: When you offer your knuckle or finger for them to headbutt (bunt), you are letting them “comment” on you by marking you with their facial pheromones, which makes them feel secure. What Your Cat is “Commenting” Back to You
Cats don’t just listen; they leave plenty of feedback through vocalizations and body language:
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